I went to see a psychiatrist today. She told me that you’ve lived really hard, and you did a great job. I also received an applause. The thought I usually have is that I’ve been living like every other people do, but I didn’t know that I lived much harder than others. So I have no choice but to think this way. ‘Are the others are living roughly?’
I just wanna get hit by that car’s speed when I’m sitting on a bus while looking at a running car. I’d like to be hospitalized without discharge. I wanna get cross the river that is hard to come back after meeting some bad people. I also would like to pass on all my rights to someone I never met before. I’d like to be blinded by someone I have no idea. Actually I wanna do sparring. Whatever is fine, Jujitsu, Judo, or Kickboxing. It’s fine to just do fistfight to mess everything up. I’d like to cry and promise that I’ll never do this again when I confess at the church on the outskirts after I fucked all up. I just wanna get dull comfort from someone who acts like want to give me up but can’t. There is no one behind me. So I can’t turn back to get a hug.
